<div dir="ltr"><br><br><div class="gmail_quote">---------- Forwarded message ----------<br>From: <b class="gmail_sendername">fabio vicentini</b> <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:fmvicent@gmail.com">fmvicent@gmail.com</a>></span><br>
Date: Thu, Oct 10, 2013 at 10:40 AM<br>Subject: Monkey theorem<br>To: José Oliveira <<a href="mailto:jfo@fe.up.pt">jfo@fe.up.pt</a>>, "<a href="mailto:msnic@huji.ac.il">msnic@huji.ac.il</a>" <<a href="mailto:msnic@huji.ac.il">msnic@huji.ac.il</a>>, "<a href="mailto:m.sniedovich@ms.unimelb.edu.au">m.sniedovich@ms.unimelb.edu.au</a>" <<a href="mailto:m.sniedovich@ms.unimelb.edu.au">m.sniedovich@ms.unimelb.edu.au</a>>, "<a href="mailto:cancela@fing.edu.uy">cancela@fing.edu.uy</a>" <<a href="mailto:cancela@fing.edu.uy">cancela@fing.edu.uy</a>>, Nicolas Stier <<a href="mailto:stier@gsb.columbia.edu">stier@gsb.columbia.edu</a>>, Beste & Vedat Verter <<a href="mailto:vedat.verter@mcgill.ca">vedat.verter@mcgill.ca</a>>, "<a href="mailto:bkucukyazici@zlc.edu.es">bkucukyazici@zlc.edu.es</a>" <<a href="mailto:bkucukyazici@zlc.edu.es">bkucukyazici@zlc.edu.es</a>>, "<a href="mailto:bdenton@ncsu.edu">bdenton@ncsu.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:bdenton@ncsu.edu">bdenton@ncsu.edu</a>>, Simge Kucukyavuz <<a href="mailto:kucukyavuz.2@osu.edu">kucukyavuz.2@osu.edu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:amaramar@shu.edu">amaramar@shu.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:amaramar@shu.edu">amaramar@shu.edu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:mgcr@research.att.com">mgcr@research.att.com</a>" <<a href="mailto:mgcr@research.att.com">mgcr@research.att.com</a>>, "<a href="mailto:jclimaco@fe.uc.pt">jclimaco@fe.uc.pt</a>" <<a href="mailto:jclimaco@fe.uc.pt">jclimaco@fe.uc.pt</a>>, "<a href="mailto:marta@mat.uc.pt">marta@mat.uc.pt</a>" <<a href="mailto:marta@mat.uc.pt">marta@mat.uc.pt</a>>, "<a href="mailto:martinez@ime.unicamp.br">martinez@ime.unicamp.br</a>" <<a href="mailto:martinez@ime.unicamp.br">martinez@ime.unicamp.br</a>>, "<a href="mailto:egbirgin@ime.usp.br">egbirgin@ime.usp.br</a>" <<a href="mailto:egbirgin@ime.usp.br">egbirgin@ime.usp.br</a>>, "<a href="mailto:kstecke@utdallas.edu">kstecke@utdallas.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:kstecke@utdallas.edu">kstecke@utdallas.edu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:facrespo@puc.cl">facrespo@puc.cl</a>" <<a href="mailto:facrespo@puc.cl">facrespo@puc.cl</a>>, Claudia Rave <<a href="mailto:claudia.rave@gmail.com">claudia.rave@gmail.com</a>>, "<a href="mailto:gweber@metu.edu.tr">gweber@metu.edu.tr</a>" <<a href="mailto:gweber@metu.edu.tr">gweber@metu.edu.tr</a>>, "<a href="mailto:bvitoriano@mat.ucm.es">bvitoriano@mat.ucm.es</a>" <<a href="mailto:bvitoriano@mat.ucm.es">bvitoriano@mat.ucm.es</a>>, "<a href="mailto:pesch@fb5.uni-siegen.de">pesch@fb5.uni-siegen.de</a>" <<a href="mailto:pesch@fb5.uni-siegen.de">pesch@fb5.uni-siegen.de</a>>, "<a href="mailto:gvulcano@stern.nyu.edu">gvulcano@stern.nyu.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:gvulcano@stern.nyu.edu">gvulcano@stern.nyu.edu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:fernando.Bernstein@duke.edu">fernando.Bernstein@duke.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:fernando.Bernstein@duke.edu">fernando.Bernstein@duke.edu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:skraiselburd@zlc.edu.es">skraiselburd@zlc.edu.es</a>" <<a href="mailto:skraiselburd@zlc.edu.es">skraiselburd@zlc.edu.es</a>>, "<a href="mailto:mikael.ronnqvist@nhh.no">mikael.ronnqvist@nhh.no</a>" <<a href="mailto:mikael.ronnqvist@nhh.no">mikael.ronnqvist@nhh.no</a>>, "<a href="mailto:irene@dc.uba.ar">irene@dc.uba.ar</a>" <<a href="mailto:irene@dc.uba.ar">irene@dc.uba.ar</a>>, "<a href="mailto:bl355@drexel.edu">bl355@drexel.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:bl355@drexel.edu">bl355@drexel.edu</a>>, Nelson Maculan <<a href="mailto:nelson.maculan@gmail.com">nelson.maculan@gmail.com</a>>, "<a href="mailto:aweintra@dii.uchile.cl">aweintra@dii.uchile.cl</a>" <<a href="mailto:aweintra@dii.uchile.cl">aweintra@dii.uchile.cl</a>>, "<a href="mailto:celso@inf.puc-rio.br">celso@inf.puc-rio.br</a>" <<a href="mailto:celso@inf.puc-rio.br">celso@inf.puc-rio.br</a>>, "<a href="mailto:repstein@dii.uchile.cl">repstein@dii.uchile.cl</a>" <<a href="mailto:repstein@dii.uchile.cl">repstein@dii.uchile.cl</a>>, Bjarni Kristjansson <<a href="mailto:bjarni@maximalsoftware.com">bjarni@maximalsoftware.com</a>>, "<a href="mailto:opti@mate.unlp.edu.ar">opti@mate.unlp.edu.ar</a>" <<a href="mailto:opti@mate.unlp.edu.ar">opti@mate.unlp.edu.ar</a>>, "<a href="mailto:khoffman@gmu.edu">khoffman@gmu.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:khoffman@gmu.edu">khoffman@gmu.edu</a>>, Lorena Pradenas <<a href="mailto:lpradena@udec.cl">lpradena@udec.cl</a>>, "<a href="mailto:urquhart@fing.edu.uy">urquhart@fing.edu.uy</a>" <<a href="mailto:urquhart@fing.edu.uy">urquhart@fing.edu.uy</a>>, "<a href="mailto:victor.albornoz@usm.cl">victor.albornoz@usm.cl</a>" <<a href="mailto:victor.albornoz@usm.cl">victor.albornoz@usm.cl</a>>, "<a href="mailto:gulnara@ind.cujae.edu.cu">gulnara@ind.cujae.edu.cu</a>" <<a href="mailto:gulnara@ind.cujae.edu.cu">gulnara@ind.cujae.edu.cu</a>>, Carlos Brizuela <<a href="mailto:cbrizuel@gmail.com">cbrizuel@gmail.com</a>>, "<a href="mailto:rcaceres@unanleon.edu.ni">rcaceres@unanleon.edu.ni</a>" <<a href="mailto:rcaceres@unanleon.edu.ni">rcaceres@unanleon.edu.ni</a>>, "<a href="mailto:ccoello@cs.cinvestav.mx">ccoello@cs.cinvestav.mx</a>" <<a href="mailto:ccoello@cs.cinvestav.mx">ccoello@cs.cinvestav.mx</a>>, "<a href="mailto:acunha@dcc.ufmg.br">acunha@dcc.ufmg.br</a>" <<a href="mailto:acunha@dcc.ufmg.br">acunha@dcc.ufmg.br</a>>, "<a href="mailto:rsdelgadillom@yahoo.com.mx">rsdelgadillom@yahoo.com.mx</a>" <<a href="mailto:rsdelgadillom@yahoo.com.mx">rsdelgadillom@yahoo.com.mx</a>>, "<a href="mailto:ADENSO@epsig.uniovi.es">ADENSO@epsig.uniovi.es</a>" <<a href="mailto:ADENSO@epsig.uniovi.es">ADENSO@epsig.uniovi.es</a>>, "Laureano F. Escudero" <<a href="mailto:laureano.escudero@urjc.es">laureano.escudero@urjc.es</a>>, Elena Fernandez <<a href="mailto:e.fernandez@upc.edu">e.fernandez@upc.edu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:legouveia@fc.ul.pt">legouveia@fc.ul.pt</a>" <<a href="mailto:legouveia@fc.ul.pt">legouveia@fc.ul.pt</a>>, "<a href="mailto:jhernandez@unimet.edu.ve">jhernandez@unimet.edu.ve</a>" <<a href="mailto:jhernandez@unimet.edu.ve">jhernandez@unimet.edu.ve</a>>, "<a href="mailto:iusp@impa.br">iusp@impa.br</a>" <<a href="mailto:iusp@impa.br">iusp@impa.br</a>>, "<a href="mailto:zhixin@umd.umich.edu">zhixin@umd.umich.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:zhixin@umd.umich.edu">zhixin@umd.umich.edu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:imendez@dc.uba.ar">imendez@dc.uba.ar</a>" <<a href="mailto:imendez@dc.uba.ar">imendez@dc.uba.ar</a>>, "<a href="mailto:meza@ldc.usb.ve">meza@ldc.usb.ve</a>" <<a href="mailto:meza@ldc.usb.ve">meza@ldc.usb.ve</a>>, "<a href="mailto:nasini@fceia.unr.edu.ar">nasini@fceia.unr.edu.ar</a>" <<a href="mailto:nasini@fceia.unr.edu.ar">nasini@fceia.unr.edu.ar</a>>, "<a href="mailto:cpaterni@uninorte.edu.co">cpaterni@uninorte.edu.co</a>" <<a href="mailto:cpaterni@uninorte.edu.co">cpaterni@uninorte.edu.co</a>>, "<a href="mailto:EDUARDO.PIZA@ucr.ac.cr">EDUARDO.PIZA@ucr.ac.cr</a>" <<a href="mailto:EDUARDO.PIZA@ucr.ac.cr">EDUARDO.PIZA@ucr.ac.cr</a>>, "<a href="mailto:roger@yalma.fime.uanl.mx">roger@yalma.fime.uanl.mx</a>" <<a href="mailto:roger@yalma.fime.uanl.mx">roger@yalma.fime.uanl.mx</a>>, "<a href="mailto:sosa@uni.edu.pe">sosa@uni.edu.pe</a>" <<a href="mailto:sosa@uni.edu.pe">sosa@uni.edu.pe</a>>, "<a href="mailto:cjvidal7@calipso.com.co">cjvidal7@calipso.com.co</a>" <<a href="mailto:cjvidal7@calipso.com.co">cjvidal7@calipso.com.co</a>>, "<a href="mailto:yw@ime.usp.br">yw@ime.usp.br</a>" <<a href="mailto:yw@ime.usp.br">yw@ime.usp.br</a>>, "<a href="mailto:jcochran@cab.latech.edu">jcochran@cab.latech.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:jcochran@cab.latech.edu">jcochran@cab.latech.edu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:vchen@uta.edu">vchen@uta.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:vchen@uta.edu">vchen@uta.edu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:louis.gosselin@hotmail.com">louis.gosselin@hotmail.com</a>" <<a href="mailto:louis.gosselin@hotmail.com">louis.gosselin@hotmail.com</a>>, "<a href="mailto:espin@ind.cujae.edu.cu">espin@ind.cujae.edu.cu</a>" <<a href="mailto:espin@ind.cujae.edu.cu">espin@ind.cujae.edu.cu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:Canan.ulu@mccombs.utexas.edu">Canan.ulu@mccombs.utexas.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:Canan.ulu@mccombs.utexas.edu">Canan.ulu@mccombs.utexas.edu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:Patrick_noonan@bus.emory.edu">Patrick_noonan@bus.emory.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:Patrick_noonan@bus.emory.edu">Patrick_noonan@bus.emory.edu</a>>, "<a href="mailto:jvielma@pitt.edu">jvielma@pitt.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:jvielma@pitt.edu">jvielma@pitt.edu</a>>, Daniel Espinoza <<a href="mailto:daespino@gmail.com">daespino@gmail.com</a>>, "<a href="mailto:eduardo.moreno@uai.cl">eduardo.moreno@uai.cl</a>" <<a href="mailto:eduardo.moreno@uai.cl">eduardo.moreno@uai.cl</a>>, "<a href="mailto:peterh@almaden.ibm.com">peterh@almaden.ibm.com</a>" <<a href="mailto:peterh@almaden.ibm.com">peterh@almaden.ibm.com</a>>, "<a href="mailto:giesen@ing.puc.cl">giesen@ing.puc.cl</a>" <<a href="mailto:giesen@ing.puc.cl">giesen@ing.puc.cl</a>>, "<a href="mailto:jcm@ing.puc.cl">jcm@ing.puc.cl</a>" <<a href="mailto:jcm@ing.puc.cl">jcm@ing.puc.cl</a>>, "<a href="mailto:sadan@psu.edu">sadan@psu.edu</a>" <<a href="mailto:sadan@psu.edu">sadan@psu.edu</a>><br>
<br><br><div dir="ltr"><p style="text-align:right" align="right">Buenos Aires, October
10, 2013</p>
<p><span lang="EN-US">Dear
colleague,</span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-US"> Subject: The
Monkey Theorem</span></p>
<p style="text-align:right" align="right"><i><span lang="EN-US">I am thinking of a way</span></i></p>
<p style="text-align:right" align="right"><i><span lang="EN-US">To write a lot of
sheeet</span></i></p>
<p style="text-align:right" align="right"><i><span lang="EN-US">In order for the aim</span></i></p>
<p style="text-align:right" align="right"><i><span lang="EN-US">To get a pee aych deee</span></i></p>
<p style="text-align:right" align="right"><i><span lang="EN-US"></span></i></p>
<p><span lang="EN-US"> A
scientific paper should serve an useful function, and that would normally be
the case if it has required a time consuming effort by his author. I have
worked for 30 years for industrial concerns as an operations researcher and I consider
that 5 out of 70 projects I dealt with were worth transmitting to my
colleagues. That would amount to one paper every 6 years on the average. On
the other side my colleagues in the Academy publish one paper every 6 months.
The alternative is: 1) I am an PhD idiot. 2) Academics publish mainly bullshit.</span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-US"> In the
nineties Argentina had its most corrupt administration since our founding
fathers. I lost my job and was forced to take refuge in the School of Sciences of
Buenos Aires University wherein I found that professors are pressured to
publish papers in peer-reviewed journals following the World Bank
recommendations to improve higher education in the banana republics. </span></p>
<p><span style lang="EN-US"> Professors
who work full-time are expected to lecture and do research. Their performance
is measured mainly by their research, and research is measured by the number
of<span> </span>published papers - mind you, by the
number not by the content. It is assumed that its content has already been
judged by the journal's referees. <span> </span></span></p>
<p><span style lang="EN-US"> Every
seven years professor X has to engage in a contest where they count the number
of papers X has published so far - let this number be n(X). If another
candidate Z who competes with X has a number of papers greater than n(X) then they
would discharge X and Z would be given X's job. Even if X would overcome this
ordeal, he will have to confront again a contest after the next seven years and
so on. As a result 1) X is eventually kicked off his chair or 2) X is retired
at 65 or 3) X dies of heart failure. There is no tenure.</span></p>
<p><span style lang="EN-US"> Now,
let us assume that professor X is an honest man, then when he finds the
solution to his research problem he will send a paper to a journal. But this is
<i>not</i> the objective, the objective is
to publish as many papers as you can because that is what they count. X
realizes that a serious problem may take years to be solved or never. So, in
order to survive X should leave behind honesty. There are ways to maximize the
number of papers: 1) join a prolific research group 2) choose a successful
coauthor 3) choose a papers-generating problem 4) exploit your thesis students
5) enlist in the school mafia. Whichever the choice the end result would probably
be sophisticated bullshit. </span></p>
<p><span style lang="EN-US"> Whoever
was first in dreaming up this evaluation procedure got his inspiration from the
monkey theorem: </span><i><span lang="EN-US">If you put a thousand monkeys banging at a
thousand typewriters, one will eventually reproduce a sonnet of Shakespeare
with probability one.</span></i></p>
<p><i><span lang="EN-US"> </span></i><span lang="EN-US">Our academics
produce 2 papers per year on the average as I ascertained from a sample from the
math dept faculty. All these people are smart but none is a genius. A normal
human being cannot discover a significant new fact of science twice a year. But
he is forced to publish papers because the atmosphere he is in gives him the
feeling to be in danger of losing his job if his paper is not forthcoming. As a
consequence he fakes research to produce papers. </span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-US"> Fabio
Vicentini</span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-US">Operational Research
consultant</span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-US"> PS. This letter
has been addressed <i>twice</i> to about 70
colleagues around the world.</span></p>
<p><span lang="EN-US"> </span></p>
</div>
</div><br></div>