[Todos] papers writing standard procedure

[fabio vicentini]

Nota a colegas extranjeros

Ante la falta de eco de mis colegas de la FCEN a mis criticas sobre la
coercion del sistema a hacer papers sin valor, he comenzado a comunicarme
con colegas extranjeros para que me hagan saber si en sus universidades
estan tambien sujetos a la misma condicion. A continuacion describo para los
gringos el procedimiento que se usa en la FCEN. Para ello uso un caso
tipico.

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Buenos Aires, March 27 , 2011

To Operations Research colleagues


Dear Sir:



A) Operations research practice in my home country  is non-existent.
Actually it is part of the academic curricula, i.e., they teach, write
papers, attend to OR meetings, they have plenty of social academic
activities, but the OR academic never works out a real world problem. I did
not stay in the Academy after graduation, instead I was employed in 1961 by
du Pont de Nemours as an OR practitioner.



In the nineties Argentina's economy was conducted by the IMF, and hundred of
thousands found themselves out of work. This forced me into reentering my
alma mater as a teacher were I found myself among academics. Now, these
people write papers and so I found myself under the pressure of writing
papers too. So I sent the best problem I had faced in the past 30 years to
the JORS journal , but they rejected my paper because it had no theorems in
it. Feeling dejected I asked for advise to Rupert Alfeñique a  successful
paper-producer in the school of sciences (Buenos Aires U.)



B) Now, Rupert did a successful career in the School of Sciences. Indeed,
his thesis advisor was the distinguished savant Kevin Klein, and in just 14
years he had reached the full professor level in the Inorganic Chemistry
department, and had written 29 papers. The format of his papers follows:



[1] R. Alfeñique, K. Klein, C. Chaplin. *On the transmutation of gold into
lead,, Part I*. Journal of Alchemy of the Samoan Islands. 1995

*…*



[29] R. Alfeñique, K. Klein, J. Aliaga. *On the transmutation of gold into
lead, Part XXIX*. Journal of Physics* *of the Democratic Republic of the
Congo. 2008



I note that,



1) Rupert's papers have 3 authors on the average , Rupert never wrote a
paper by himself. He belongs to a researching club the members of which
subscribe to the motto "One for all, and all for one." The number of authors
in his papers has the following distribution:



authors

# papers

1

0

2

11

3

5

4

5

5

7

6

1



29



2) Abstracts seem different, but they are the same horse with different
colors. It is an example of making mileage out of the same idea.



3) The journals are actually different as a consequence of the following
procedure. The club sends the paper to Journal #1. If it rejects the paper
then they send it to Journal #2 and so on. Since 1,2,3,…is a denumerable
sequence the paper is finally accepted.



4) The papers concocted by the gang are apportioned among its pals in such a
way that each member must reach 2 papers per solar year, the standard value
dictated by the World Bank to the Latin American backyard. Alfeñique present
figure is 2.1



Sincerely,

Fabio Vicentini, PhD

OR consultant



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