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Vicentini, agregue a su epitafio el mote de "plagiario". Esto es un plagio
del articulo

Having an impact (factor)
Gregory A Petsko
Address: Rosenstiel Basic Medical Sciences Research Center, Brandeis
University, Waltham, MA 02454-9110, USA.
Email: petsko en brandeis.edu

Published: 29 July 2008
Genome Biology 2008, 9:107 (doi:10.1186/gb-2008-9-7-107)

saludos

Marcelo


> A la Comunidad de Exactas
>
> Lamento comunicarles el deceso del Dr Fabio Vicentini,
> renombrado docente-investigador que se destacó porque
> nunca en su puta vida publicó un paper. Mientras el profesor
> Pablo Jacovkis prepara el obituario yo les adelanto las noticias que nos
estan llegando desde la puerta del Cielo por la cadena
> CBS (Celestial Broadcasting System)
>
> Jorge Aliaga
> Decano
> ===========================
> Vic: My gosh is this…? Are you…? Am I really…?
>
> St Peter: Yes, I’m St Peter. And yes, this is where souls such
> as yours enter heaven.
>
> Vic: Wow. I mean, I didn’t expect to live forever, but still,
> this is something of a shock. (Pauses.) OK, I guess I can live
> with it. Uh, I mean …
>
> St Peter: I know.
>
> Vic: Well, at least I’m here. I’m not thrilled to be dead, but
> it’s a relief to know I’m going to heaven.
>
> St Peter: I’m afraid it’s not that simple. We have to check.
>
> Vic: Check what?
>
> St Peter: Your life history. (He leafs through the enormous
> book.) It’s all here, you know.
>
> Vic: I’m sure it is. I can imagine you guys keep records that
> make PubMed seem like a stack of index cards. I’m a little
> surprised you don’t use something more up-to-date, though.
>
> St Peter: If you mean a personal computer, no - we don’t.
> After all, they were invented elsewhere.
>
> Vic: You mean on earth?
>
> St Peter: No, somewhere a lot warmer. (He stops at a
> page.) Here you are.
>
> Vic: Hey, I’m not worried. I was a good scientist, a good
> citizen, a good family man, I think, too. I never…
>
> St Peter: Yes, yes, I’m sure, but you see, none of that
> matters. The only thing that matters is your IF.
>
> Vic: IF?
>
> St Peter: Your impact factor. That’s all we use now. If your
> IF is above 10, then you enter here. If it’s lower, well…
>
> Vic: My impact factor? What the hell - oops, sorry - is that?
>
> St Peter: It’s something we borrowed from your science
> chaps on earth. Now when anyone comes here, all we do
> is to look up his number.
>
> Vic: A single number? Are you nuts? You can’t sum up
> someone’s whole life in a single number!
>
> St Peter: You do. At least, you sum up their career that way,
> when you decide if they’ve published in the best journals or
> done the best work. It’s how you work out who gets
> promoted and who’s a star and who gets funded and…
>
> Vic: Yes, but it’s a terrible idea! We should never have done
> it. It ruined European science in a matter of a few years, and
> then it spread to Australia, China and Japan, and finally to
> Canada and the US; and before too long, science was totally
> controlled by unimaginative bureaucrats who just used that
> number for everything. It was a disaster!
>
> St Peter: Yes; but it’s a lot simpler. It doesn’t matter if you were
kind or tried hard or did good work or were pious or modest
> or generous. The only thing that matters is how big an
> impact we calculate you had.
>
> Vic: But that’s just wrong! Look, maybe I could talk to the
> people who thought up that idea and pushed for its use. If I
> can just get in for a minute…
>
> St Peter: Oh, they’re not here. (He waves his hand and an
> image appears on a cloud. It shows a huge pit of boiling
> sulfur and brimstone. In it, up almost to their necks, are a
> bunch of men in business suits.) As you can see, they’re in a
> warmer climate.
>
> Vic: Well, at least, that seems fair somehow. Wait a minute -
> is that George W Bush?
>
> St Peter: Yes.
>
> Vic: But his impact factor should have been huge.
>
> St Peter: Oh, the absolute value was off the charts. But we
> do take the sign into consideration…
>
> Vic: Then why is he only in brimstone up to his knees?
>
> St Peter: Oh. He’s standing on Dick Cheney’s shoulders.
> (The image vanishes.) Now let’s get back to you…
>
> Vic: But don’t you see, the idea that you can determine
> someone’s impact in the future from where they publish today
> is totally absurd. On that basis, God would have an impact
> factor of zero. I mean, He did his best work a long time ago; it has
never been repeated by anyone; and all His ideas were
> published in a book, not in a peer-reviewed journal!
>
> St Peter: Very funny. Go to hell.
>
>
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